16 March 2023


Amy Parfett


Five ways to politely ask for money as a wedding gift (with zero awks)

If you're like most modern couples, you're probably already stocked with the living essentials (read: you don't need a dinner set or a kitchen kettle).

What you'd really appreciate? Some funds to put toward your future. And also, some non-cringe wording to share this preference. And thankfully, we've got your back on one of those fronts. 

Firstly, here's a brief history on the rise of money as a wedding gift. 


Why do people ask for cash as a wedding gift?

To bring you up to speed, let's first take you back.

Wedding gifting has gone through a signficant evolution over the last 60 years. In many parts of the world, giving money as a gift to the new couple is stock-standard. But for most Western countries, couples traditionally "registered" for pots, pans and all the domestic trimmings at major department stores. 

It made sense... during an era when it was rare to live together before marriage or throughout a time when you wed at a young age. 

But times have done what they do best: changed. And now, we typically live with our betrothed prior to tying the knot and subsequently have the essential homewares covered. 

In response, along came the rise of the "wishing well" - a decorative box or basket designed for guests to pop a card filled with cash inside. And while still prevalent, this style of wedding gifting is slowly slipping down the popularity ranks due to the somewhat transactional nature of the whole exchange. 

Not only does it feel a bit uncomfortable to just give straight-up dollar bills, it's also an inconvenience. In a largely cashless society, the mad dash to an ATM 10 minutes before the wedding kicks off is never a good time. 


The rise in digital wishing wells 

As we turn to the digital world to solve all of our problems (or at least a good portion of them), so too has wedding gifting revolutionised. And it's not just the convenience factor that makes digital wedding registries popular - in fact, we'd argue that's just a cherry on top. 

The real power in using a digital wishing well or wedding registry is the ability to communicate what you'll use those gift funds for. By allowing your guests to actively contribute toward a honeymoon fund or a new lounge or a puppy or your IVF journey, you make the gifting experience more personal. 

And the data shows that there's another byproduct: an increase of up to 30% more in gift-funds given. The reason? Guests don't feel the pressure to withdraw money in a rush and they also explicitly understand what you'll use the money for which makes people more inclined to be generous.

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How to word a request for money as a wedding gift

So we've established that digital wedding registries offer an elegant way to gratefully receive money as a wedding gift. Now we need some clever, witty, tactful ways to ask for cash. Here are five. 

  1. Please know that gifts are not expected (we're genuinely just excited to have you share our day) but if you would like to help us kickstart married life, there are a few things we're saving for. A contribution towards these would be the ultimate gift.
  2. Wondering what to get us for our wedding? Well, you don't need to get us anything. Truly, we're just happy you can come. But if you were planning on ignoring this message regardless, we're grateful for a contribution to our registry. Thank you kindly.
  3. The countdown is on (well, for us!) and we can't wait to celebrate our wedding with you. Gifts are not something we expect, however we've created a registry with some special items, experiences and 'good deed' requests that you can contribute to, should you wish, that will not only be a gift to us but help the world.
  4. We have everything we need to live comfortably right no, so instead of more stuff, we'd gratefully appreciate a contribution to our registry instead. We're thinking of it as our 'Newlywed Slush Fund' to spend on things like our honeymoon, future date nights and maybe even a pet.
  5. At the risk of a cliché, your presence is the best present of all. If you did wish to gift us something for our future married life, we've set up a registry that is open for contributions.

What is the most flexible online wedding gift registry?

Call us biased (because, well, we absolutely are), but Gravy is definitely ticking a whole lot of boxes on the digital registry front. 

Gravy allows couples to ask for *literally* anything. A wine subscription, help painting the kitchen, IVF treatments, a house deposit, french lessons, a safari, a honeymoon fund… you get the gist. 

In fact, what sets Gravy apart is that along with cash and goods, couples can also ask for non-monetary ‘pledges’ – like a free ride to the airport, extra hands while moving house or help at a fundraising event. There is also the option of asking guests to give to charity (with no limit on how many you can nominate).

For couples, it means creating a carefully curated registry that mirrors what they genuinely love, need and care about and for guests it makes the entire gift-giving experience much more meaningful by providing transparency over where their cash will go as well as the option to select the ‘gifts’, ‘pledges’ and/or ‘charity’ that best resonates with them.


Ready to create a wedding registry? It's absolutely free to use Gravy - no hidden fees, no catches. And you can even ask for things that won't cost your guests a cent. Get started here.  

Want to create a gift collection for yourself or gift to someone for a birthday, aby shower, thank you, farewell, anniversary or *just because*?  Start gifting meaningfully here.